Team Gray!

“Mommy, can I go to Joy’s house?” Yani had been a real trooper all morning taking care of her little sisters. I’ve learned lately that I can’t keep up with Esteban and Imani and Joyous all by myself. Xay was already over at Joy’s house, playing with Mel.

“Send Xay home,” I told Yani.

I took all the little people outside so I could finish working on my landscape. I looked down the street, and saw a warrior returning from battle. Under 5 feet tall, he carried the large orange water gun his sister had won at a church function years ago. Dressed in a gray sweat suit, my son’s face was dripping wet. I saw disappointment on that wet face, too. “I didn’t get to finish the battle because I had to come home,“ he told me. I looked down the street and saw Mel, Jake and Ryan circling on their bikes.

“You can go back and finish the war,” I told him.

Xay is always looking for a fight. He is constantly grabbing someone’s hand and saying, “Do you want to hit me?” We even have a picture of him doing this to his new baby brother.

His little sisters are much more rough and tumble than their big sister because of Xay’s influence.

This kind of behavior was discouraged in my home growing up, but I notice that my little brother (a very grown man) is still looking for a fight. I suffer it lightly at home, because I know this is a boy thing.

While researching names and their meanings in order to name Esteban, I found a meaning for Xavier’s name that I had not seen before. Xavier Miles means brilliant soldier. I had no idea back in 1995 how appropriate this name was!

When Xay was 3, he ran out and pointed a small water pistol at our neighbors, Spencer, 6, and Tyler, 9. They took the challenge, and released their hose on Xavier. He did the same thing the next day.

Xay was beating everyone in fighting video games from the age of 5. He went through a Tekken, Dead or Alive, and Knock Out Kings phase. Ask him his favorite kind of video game, and he’ll still tell you it’s a fighting game. Now he’s moved on to war games, like One Must Fall [ed, a fighting game], MechWarrior, Age of Empires, Command and Conquer Generals, and Desert Storm.

Curtis started Xay playing the war games, and made him work on strategy. If Xay played his father in his natural way, he would shoot until he ran out of ammunition, and then Curtis would use his strategy to defeat him every time.

We went to a party this year where a little boy Joy’s age was picking on her. He kept taking toys from her, and even pushed her once. I put Xay on the case. I told him that it was his job to protect his sister, and I watched him put himself between that little boy and his sister. We didn’t have any more problems with that boy.

I also refer to Xay as the baby police. He’s not afraid to enforce every house rule. So if, for example, Joy is caught eating in the family room, Xay will not hesitate to remove her to the kitchen, or take her food, or whatever it takes to enforce the rule of no eating in the family room. He is a one man police force.

Xay and I did Tae Bo together for four years. That’s as much martial arts training that he’s had. He was punching and kicking around at swimming one night, and a swim parent who’d had years of martial arts training thought that Xay had been in Karate. That reminds me of Curtis’ stories of growing up and knowing how to do all kinds of cool martial arts moves without ever having been to a class.

I’d like them to take classes together. But, until then, Xay would be perfectly content to hone his skills on his father everyday. He just can’t get enough wrestling. He is now cultivating friendships with boys who share this passion. I caught him wrestling in the swimming pool the other night with a new friend. He was sputtering for air, and

going back for more fighting, but I put my foot down there. [ed: sigh -- moms will be moms]

As I type, Xay is turning Esteban into Ninja Baby. He just informed me that my five week-old just kicked and punched him, and beat him up “so bad!” He is pulling on the baby’s chin, making him say,

“Call me Ninja Baby.”
I know this is important for Esteban. I just don’t like to see his little head bobbing in the process.

“I am Esteban. My head is not bobbing.”

(sigh) Boys will be boys