I have this theory about black folks and fitness.

*Generalization alert!!*

The black folks I’ve talked to about losing weight have the same theme.

“I know, I have to drink more water.”

“I have a lot of workout tapes. They just stay stacked up by the TV.”

Those are the black folks who talk about fitness, but don’t do anything about it. There are others who don’t do either.

Of course, there are the zealots like myself, who talk about overdoing it, and being extreme. Tenicia, my aerobics instructor, for example, would talk about how she liked extreme spinning. We’d be standing up and sitting down on every other beat, cranking up the tension, etc. for a half hour, in beat to the music–planet rock, or something. We like to sit around and talk about how sore we are, and what a good workout we got.

But I’m not talking about those folks. I’m talking about the audience for this article I read in Ebony.

The article was called “Lighten Up,” and it was about diet and exercise for the black person. It said right in the article, “you need to drink more water.”

Back when I was getting my hair done once a month, my hairdresser would start in on how she needed to do something about her weight. “I need to drink more water,” she told me for five years. I was like, then drink. more. water.

Why are we talking about ‘I need to drink more water’ for 5 years? Why aren’t we just drinking more water?

So, I read that in Ebony, and I crack up.

Another tip they give is that you have to exercise. “All the dieting in the world won’t work if you don’t exercise as well.” So, I’m scanning the article for suggestions for working out.

It said to park farther away from your office and walk.

What?

And more of that take the stairs stuff.

Ok, so if I just drink more water and park my car farther away from where I’m going, and take the stairs, I’ll have no weight problem?

And they wonder why obesity is so epidemic among black women.

This is the most simplistic stupid thing I’ve ever heard. It takes hard work and diligence to lose weight, not just a simple, “I need to drink more water, and I need to work out more.”

My hairdresser found this out, as she recently went from talking about what she needed to do to actually doing it. She looks great–petite, size 6, just where she wanted to be. I asked her what she did.

She told me that she started working out regularly, with a trainer, and that she indeed started drinking more water, and she cut out her night-time eating. Aha! She’d identified that she was a night-time eater, and she cut that out. I also remember her taking stock of her diet, and getting rid of pasta, etc.

Kevin and Christie have lost a lot of weight by cutting out white food, exercising portion control, and working out regularly. It has been hard work, and continues to be hard work, but they got results.

Curtis and I have tried various different diets and fasting, and regular workouts to lose weight. It takes such diligence, and we fail when we forget the diligence, and think, ‘it doesn’t take all that.’

Yes, it does take all that, and (minus) a bag of chips.