Interesting days at the Gray house. A wonderful, well-meaning friend dropped off a truckload of flip-flops her girls were tired of wearing. They’re all about Mani’s size, and she’s in heaven. Enter Katie and Jessie, who love trying on shoes of all sizes all the time. And I have flip-flops to trip over all the time. everyday. This was after Daddy had brought over a pile of Yanni-size flip-flops from Mommy’s closet. I haven’t been fond of them since Yanni drama, but I must say that this has taken my flip-flop hating to new heights. To wit, my list.

1. They’re so easy to kick off and leave on the floor and trip the Mommy. I’m sorry, but I just don’t can’t won’t look down every step I take.

2. You go to the beach. Your child is wearing fashionable flip-flops that coordinate with her swim suit, (of course), and the first step out, the burning sand engulfs said flip-flops, making it impossible to walk, and the child that you BEGGED not to wear those shoes looks at you accusingly–’how dare you let me burn my feet like this?’

3. You go to the mall with a child in her fashionable flip-flops she bought at Max 10. She steps one foot into a real store, and the plastic thong between her toes snaps. You are escorted from the store, because ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service.’

4. You get home from the mall, fuming, and trip over raggedy cheap broken flip-flop while holding the baby.

5. You take a child to the grocery store wearing ugly dirty flip-flops that don’t match her outfit. You foolishly wish to avoid a fight, so you let said child wear the tacky shoes. You get the child all strapped into the shopping cart, and you’re rolling along. Your cart stops, and then hits a bump. The child and you register at the same time that she’s lost a shoe. Repeat every 10 seconds.

6. You get home from the grocery store right before nap-time, desperately trying to get lunch made. You trip over a pair of flip-flops and drop food all over the floor.

7. You fall for that ridiculous fad of boy ‘action’ sandals. They’re really just glorified flip-flops. Every boy in town has the same pair. You go to the beach and boy takes off his light-up action flip-flops. The boy on the neighboring towel thinks they’re his flip-flops, and he takes them home.

8. Your boy thinks he can do sports in his action flip-flops (his 2nd pair–shame on you!) He leaps from the top of the bleachers, he races his friends to the door at swimming. He tries to break a stick with his foot. . . and breaks his flip-flops instead.

9. You get home from swimming with the boy and his broken flip-flops. He races in the house ahead of you to set a trap. You trip over the broken discarded shoe shard and skin your knee.

10. Your daughter’s friend is the star of the youth choir. The youth choir sings, wearing matching black ensembles. You can hear your daughter’s friend on the mic, but can’t see her. You desperately scan the stage for her slight figure. You find out later that she is hiding behind a much taller girl. . . because your daughter’s friend is wearing neon orange flip-flops on stage. at church.