It first started going downhill in 2000. I was so publicly pregnant at our church that I thought I owed it to everyone to go back to church as soon as the baby was born. I think I waited all of 2 weeks to make my debut with the baby. We were really late to church, sat in the back, where one person noticed us. Then the baby wanted to nurse, and Curtis tucked me into a remote corner in a back room. End of sentence.

Our church moved to a new building a week or two after that. We had just finished a long building project, where we renovated a large grocery store into a church. During the tour of the construction site, we were shown where the nursing mothers’ room would be. I was excited to have a place for my baby and me in the new building.

After the building was completed, the nursing mothers’ room was not ready yet. I could nurse undercover in the sanctuary, go to the bathroom, or try to find a discreet place in the hall. . . I started to want to stay home. At 6 weeks, my baby was old enough to go in the nursery; I would be called to her during every service until she was 4 months old.

I’m on my 5th baby since then. The original nursing mothers’ room was finished and given to the praise dancers as a dressing room. The church now has a quieting room, outfitted like a nice living room. There is a TV with the service playing in front of leather couches, rocking chairs and other comfortable chairs. Every wall has a sign that reads, ‘nursing mother’s please inquire in the nursery about a nursing room.’

I took Chanya in the quieting room a couple weeks ago. It was empty except for Xay, Chanya and me. I covered the baby and myself with a blanket and proceeded to nurse. A woman nearly broke her neck backflipping through the door to ask me if I wanted to nurse in the nursery. I asked her if she wanted me to. She said something about so many people wanting to get into the quieting room. I silently wondered why they didn’t just come in. It was about 15 minutes until the end of service. I took Chanya to the nursery. In the storage room of the nursery they have two rocking chairs, a TV and a partition. That’s the nursing mother’s room. I thought that was a typo. Surely they didn’t intend to say that there is only one nursing mother in the church. But that’s about how much room they’ve made for us. And I’ve only heard of one other woman in the whole church who ever nursed her child.

Gee, with such a warm reception, I wonder why?