I am livid! Not only do I hate cooking, but I hate cooking videos! You see, my cousin Deie suggested that Yanni make her own cooking show and put it on the web. So the weekend we went to the orchard, Yanni not only made her famous apple pie, but she made a video of herself making the pie. I edited the video and have been trying to get the dang thing on youtube all weekend. To no avail, I might add. So I just tried another trick, hoping to convert the .avi file to a .wmv file and maybe then youtube would like it. But that seems to have crashed the stupid windows movie maker software. What? Am I trying to do more than my computer–which by the way, is mute, meaning I AM A COMPOSER WHO HAS NO SOUND ON HER COMPUTER! I can’t imagine anything more frustrating–computer-wise for me than to have a mute computer.

It is just held together by string and paper clips, I just know it, and Curtis doesn’t want to lose the years off his life that it will take him to fool with my computer.

Which makes me want to just order parts and have Xay make my own, like he did his own.

And what is the point of my getting all hysterical, anyway? It’s not like I’ll get more than 5 downloads on the cooking show when I finally get it up on youtube. It will take several installments, btw, as the original show is 28 minutes long, and youtube only lets you put in 10 minute long clips of whatever gigabyte size, which means my file (shot in HD, no doubt) chokes up the whole system. Believe me, as I’ve been messing with this thing since last night, when I innocently thought I could post the video for your viewing pleasure.

But who am I fooling? I wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get it online if it weren’t for the fact that I can’t hear it (!) on my computer, and posting it online would mean I could listen to it on another computer. Unless I can email it to myself. . .

These are the kind of hurdles I leap every time I try to post some kind of homemade video. Something always crashes or breaks, or both. And all I have to show for it is a half-baked, half imagined blurry video. Or a brilliantly HD poorly edited monstrosity of a file.

End rant. I better shut down the internet to preserve precious computer brain cells for this video project. We shall see if it comes to anything.

*my mother used this phrase to refer to technological difficulties. Meaning, it’s technological, I must run and hide; I can’t deal with anything like that. This coming from a High School AV nerd (my mother). And for my part, I have and have tried to use all manner of complicated video and music editing software over the years to disappointing results.