I remember going down to Memphis for my grandmother’s funeral with my cousin Zo. He carried my mother, the kids and me in his Aztec. To make the trip in good time, Zo picked us up at midnight. Then he proceeded to play house music all night long.

The kids, 7 and 4 at the time, never batted an eye the whole night.

I find driving exhausting. It actually takes more out of me to drive around town a few times than to ride 15 miles on my bike.

Needless to say, I have been tired lately. Musical caffeine gets me through those dark final trips of the evening. Driving in the dark scares me, especially with all the deer around. I see so many dead deer during the day that I’m terrified to run into one in the dark. My glasses give me such glaring blind spots that I have to wear my contacts for driving now. They get dry and what-not by night, so it’s not fun.

But something about turning the satellite radio on to the house music station just drives me enough to get through it. The steady pulsing beat makes me feel like I’m moving faster than I am or something. I listen to this music and remember what I was trying to create every time I went in the electronic music lab in Grad school. I never was able to create house music, either. I tried to copy sounds I’d heard, but I couldn’t even find the right synthesized tones, let alone learn the secrets to the driving beat.

During the day, I listen to a combination of gospel, classic rap, old school R&B and family friendly comedy. I feel stuck in a time warp sometimes. But the musical caffeine makes me feel more alert or with it somehow. “With it”–I sound like my mother. I better quit while I still have a little dignity intact.